Bletherin on the bus

by Fiona M Campbell
(Aberdeen)

Bletherin on the bus
Foo ye daien? I’ve nae seen ye in donkeys
Faur ye gaen the day then?
Div ye nae min that I ging for a muckle messages on a Friday?
I aye pick up ma fish fae the market an ma rowies fae the baker
Faur ye gaen on this bus onywy?
I have tae get new glaisses
I cannae see onything at a these days
How can I keek oot ma windae withoot ma glaisses?
Did ye hear aboot Jimmy Broon?
He’s deid ye ken- a fine man wis Jimmy
Fit ye battin yer gums aboot?
Jimmy Broon wis in the Coopie last week!
Fit aboot thon Irish lassie fa still bides wi her ma?
Elsie telt me that she’s expecting a bairn ony day noo
An her nae married! I heard it was the postie
Niver! It was thon laddie wi the holes in his lugs
You’ll niver guess fa I sa at the bingo the ither nicht
Div ye min on Francis? Well she telt me that Maggie telt her that
Jessie’s got a new bidie in and he’s nae e’en half her age
Dearie me! Fit a palava, we’re owre old for that malarkey
Foo’s your Bert daien?
He’s aye moanin and aye makin a mess
Fit aboot George?
Jist the same, getting on ma nerves and ne’er liftin a finger
I should’ve listened tae ma da and ne’er married him in the first place
Bert still kens foo tae tickle ma fancy- wi daffies fae the gairden and a strawberry tairt
That aye dis te trick!
Ken fit?
Ah think I’ll pick him up a pokey chips fae the Ashvale on ma way hame
Fiona M Campbell